Coal Oven Heavyweights

The sign that gave birth to this mission

Rather than getting into the details that bind the so called, "Coal Oven Heavyweights" together, let's start by looking at the details of who they are. At left is a virtual who's who of pizza in the NYC area, with a couple of Connecticut icons sprinkled in for good measure. Back in February, I saw this blackboard while dining at the newly opened Juliana's. It spoke to me. Can you hear it? In case you cannot, it was asking for someone to eat at this crop of pizza giants. Now if you know anything about me, you know that the sign is asking, nay, demanding that I eat at all these places in one day! The only thing better than food is road trips. Road trips that revolve solely around food? That's colossal (you heard it hear, that's the new and improved version of EPIC!)

Thanks for breaking my mirror

What's a man to do? First, recruit a couple of people who are equal parts hungry, dumb, and crazy to go on this colossal (there's that word again) foodventure (that's my word too!). Second, save up my lunch money to buy copious amounts of pizza and some gasoline to do me travels. Third, get out there and go get some.

Where to begin? Logically, it made sense to break these up into groups - Brooklyn, CT, and NYC. The journey began with a jaunt into downtown Brooklyn, Juliana's was first on the list, but before we could settle in for our first taste of pizza we needed something to start the day off right. And that's where Dough came in. Literally the best way to start any day. And they're on Twitter!

After getting some doughnuts, my Cube was hit by some speeding d-bag who knocked my side mirror off mi coche and promptly drove away. A mere mortal would just quit, pack his bags and let this put a
damper on his day. I am no mere mortal - though I'm still really annoyed about my mirror!

Off to Juliana's. Stop 1. They set the bar and set it extremely high. There were three layers of perfection here - dough, sauce, cheese. If only I could describe the joy my taste buds experienced...Oh wait, I can. Perfection.

Grimaldi's

Next on the list was Grimaldi's, the pizza giant next door who started where Juliana's currently resides, by the family that owns and runs Juliana's. Got that? If not, check out the history. The rules at Grimaldi's are simple: no reservations, no credit cards, no slices, no delivery. These rules are an overriding theme for the day (though some places did accept credit cards).Grimaldi's is an experience that many locals will balk on because of the insanely long lines. However, as I'm often asked when in the line, "hey mate, you're from here. Is it really worth it?" Naturally, my conversation takes place with an Aussie and I answer in the affirmative. It's easy to fake being good at something for a little while. It's impossible to fake the funk for that long. Yes, Grimaldi's may not technically be Grimaldi's and may not be in the location that Grimaldi's once occupied, but as Yogi Berra once said, I forget. But it likely made little sense and involved talking in circles. On this day, Grimaldi's was the second pizza sampled and it was slotted at #2 in terms of taste behind the mighty Juliana's. Why? Simple, the sauce lacked any depth of flavor. It tasted like tomatoes. Unseasoned, ground up, tomatoes. The dough was not cooked as well as Juliana's, undercooked, and that was a let down as well - and don't let the burnt edges in the photo fool you, the middle was not quite cooked.

Small. Unassuming. Delicious.

Next on the list is a place near and dear to my heart. Nestled in the heart of Coney Island is Totonno's. Their story is well documented, and the recent history includes a fire and severe damage thanks to that stupid ho' Sandy. Because of that ho-rricane, our pizza tour was delayed until the CI legend was back in business.

With the green light, stop #3 was at 1524 Neptune Ave for a place that has been feeding my family tree for nearly 90 years. All bias aside, Totonno's was stop #3 and was promptly placed into the #3 slot on the day's rankings. The common criticism amongst our group was that the pizza was very salty, especially in comparison to the prior two stops.

Official Brooklyn Scorecard: (1) Juliana's (it wasn't even close) (2) Grimaldi's (3) Totonno's

A Sally Consiglio Production

Next up was a change of pace, hitting the road for the Nutmeg State, destination New Haven. My prior New Haven experience was very burger-centric as it is the home of Burger giant Louis Lunch (whom I have not done a proper review for and I'm ashamed). Forgive me father for I have sinned. Hitting the road for Connecticut in the middle of the day on a Saturday sounds like a death wish, not this kind but more like, "hey man isn't we gonna hit hours and hours of traffic?" "Uhhhh, yeah we is, but today the traffic is our friend because our next stop, Sally's, doesn't open until 5 and without traffic will be wandering the streets of New Haven for far too long."

All you need to know about pizza in New Haven takes place on one street, Wooster Street to be exact, and it is Little Italy, filled with multiple Italian eateries for any fare you desire. At the top of Wooster, you'll find Sally's Apizza and further down you'll come to Frank Pepe's.

The fourth stop quickly became fourth place on everyone's scorecard. The sauce, much like Grimaldi's on this day, lacked depth of flavor. Unlike the other stops on the pizza tour, Sally's doesn't make a Margherita pie (and there's more on that front in a a few paragraphs), but good pizza is good pizza, right? Unfortunately, Sally's Apizza was a letdown. Our hopes had been set high by our lengthy delay between slices and the fact that Sally's is part of such a prestigious list.

Frank Pepe is doing it right

Moving down Wooster, there was a rather long line outside of Frank Pepe's, well one of the Frank locations. The other location had no line, no wait. What gives? The location with no wait is the original location, the one with the wait is the newer location. Both have the same name, have the same coal oven, have the same loyal following, and presumably the same delicious pizza.

In an effort of fairness and full disclosure, we opted to get our pizza on at the original location (which is nestled at the back of a long parking lot if you've never been there.) Margherita pie? Check. And now we're back on track. Frank served up a real eye-opener, a palate-pleaser, a flavorful fiesta for your mouth. The sauce was delicious, the cheese was fresh and not overly salty, and the fresh basil complimented each bite.


For the CT leg, Frankie baby was the winner. On the overall scorecard, Frank Pepe's slipped into the #2 slot after this strong initial showing, truly love at first bite.

Official CT Scorecard: (1) Frank Pepe's (2) Sally's Apizza (and it was a very distant 2nd)

Rounding out our journey, a trip back to the Big Apple for the remaining three giants - Patsy's, John's of Bleecker, and the infamous Lombardi's. We called ahead to Patsy's (the original location on 1st Ave and 118th St in East Harlem) and they had a fresh, hot pizza waiting for us. We ate outside, on the hood of my beleaguered Cube, and enjoyed an impromptu fireworks show about 20 blocks away in the middle of 1st Ave.

Patsy Perfect

If you thought the Grimaldi's-Juliana's saga was confusing, try looking into the history of Patsy's and figuring out who's who and what's really Patsy vs. what's not quite the really real Patsy. It's more complex than two-variable calculus but not quite as complex as figure out which Ray's is really the original Ray's.

Back to the mission - Patsy's, unreal. Was such a gift for our taste buds that they practically vaulted to the #1 spot for all of us. Next, it was a downtown run to Bleecker for some of John's finest. Interestingly, we called ahead to John's, wanting to have a hot pie ready for take-out, however the guy who answered the phone was confused at our request for a Margherita pie. He declared, "what do you mean by that because a Margherita pie means different things to different people?" All I know can be summed up here and while recent research sheds some doubt to this claim; for me, it was always fairly common knowledge that a Margherita pie is made just like you've seen throughout this post.

John's of Bleecker

The nomenclature snafu aside, John's of Bleecker delivered as we had hoped. It was a delicious pie but it was not on the level of Patsy. Why? For me, the sauce just wasn't there. It almost invariably comes down to the sauce and there wasn't quite the depth I was hoping for. That said, you cannot go wrong with pizza from here. It's really, really good. Forget all that DOH hype from within the past year, go here. Eat. Enjoy. Repeat.

Lombardi's - Where's my f'n basil?

Last stop is where it all began. Everything I've said about Lombardi's can be found here and on this night, for whatever reason, Lombardi's didn't deliver what I was expecting. I was thinking something of biblical proportions, along the lines of, "and the first shall be the last", though on this night, the first was huddled somewhere in the middle of the pack. For today's journey, Lombardi's pie was cooked to perfection, was really light on the basil, and had a very dense sauce. On this night, the sauce was reminiscent of something that would be more fitting on a tray of lasagne than on the top of a pizza. In the city that never sleeps, Patsy's won on this summer night. Lombardi's, a perennial favorite got the 2b nod - though the 3 slot is more apropos.

Official NYCScorecard: (1) Patsy's (2a) John's of Bleecker (2b) Lombardi's

There you have it. My one day epic, er colossal journey through the 8 Coal Oven Heavyweights. A journey that began in my Cube around 9:30am, traversed nearly 250 miles, consumed roughly 20 slices of pizza, a couple of doughnuts, some bangin' ices in New Haven to cleanse my palate, and ended just after midnight. If I had to rank the 8, that would be tricky to do and I'd rather just share my top 2, more like 1 and 1a and they are Juliana's and Patsy's. Patsy's was so good that it has evoked numerous conversations surrounding a follow up visit.

My advice, get in the car and do this now. Thank me later.

Back In Full Effect

Greetings one and all! I am writing this as a formality to reintroduce myself to the rest of the world. Many have been asking what happened to this blog and why it vanished into relative obscurity over the past 18 months. Plain and simple, life happened. I can give a laundry list of things - starting with a broken ankle and ending with a year of being a full time student (again).

Regardless, the blog is back and it will be better than ever! Or at least as good. Or maybe even worse. Whatever. Set your expectations low, my friends, and you will be pleasantly surprised!

Really though, the first post is going to be epic. Check it, EPIC! Side note, how overused is EPIC? 

Kumo Sushi

Someone once said, "variety is the spice of life" and to be totally honest, I don't know who said it. I also do not really know what that really means, since taken out of context it can mean just about anything. Ok, I'll stop playing dumb and make this a bit educational. The actual quote is, "Variety's the spice of life, that gives it all its flavour." This quote comes to us from English poet William Cowper and it's a perfect fit for Kumo Sushi.

I know a lot of people cringe when they hear of buffets or the term "all you can eat" but I offer the following thoughts: 1 - not all buffets are created equally (read: while some buffets may in fact be sketchy, there are others that are bigger and better and certainly worth your attention. 2 - you do not need to go to Vegas to enjoy a good buffet. 3 - Just because the buffet is in Vegas, doesn't make it all that special. Trust me, I've had my fair share and they can be brutal.

Kumo Roll (L), Spicy Salmon Roll (R)

Anyway, that's enough digressing. Let's focus on the subject at hand, Kumo Sushi (72nd St between Columbus and Amsterdam). More importantly, let's focus on the fact that they offer an all you can eat sushi option for about $27 which naturally intrigued me from afar. After drawing me in and perusing their extensive menu, I was impressed by the value they were offering since there are a number of specialty rolls that can be had as part of this special (some specialty rolls have a menu price of $8-15 and it's important to point out that these rolls are delivered fast, fresh, and at full size - since some places will scale back the size of dishes in these prix fixe type situations.)

Diamond Roll with a side of eel

The photo at left is of the Kumo Roll, having carte blanche to eat just about any roll on the menu, I figured I had to try their namesake and it was an excellent choice. The shrimp tempura was light and delicious and the eel/avocado pairing at top was full of flavor. I also kicked things off with the spicy salmon roll and wish I had another sitting beside me as I type up this review. I also wish I had one of these diamond rolls, partly because it just looks nice and reminds me of the winter and partly because it just tasted so good and I'm quite hungry right now.

I'm not sure how things were way back when and I'm not a big fan of delivery (especially pizza and sushi is a close 2nd!) but I can tell you that if you venture to the UWS for some really good sushi, Kumo will hit the spot. If you are foodventurous and want to try a bunch of different rolls, go for the AYCE option. If your appetite is not that hearty, there are a couple of lunch special options that may fit the bill and fill your belly.

Rating - 4.5/5 - I do enjoy a good buffet and this, while not typically a buffet, is a good AYCE. I found it to be fresh food and a really good value for my food dollar. I also would like to point out that I almost took a full day vacation from eating after visiting Kumo!

Their site - I can't seem to find one so I'll give you this information instead. 165 West 72nd Street, New York, NY 10023 (212) 580-5900. That's a short walk from the 1, 2, 3 line which stops right at the corner of 72nd. Now you have no excuses not to go and enjoy yourselves!

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Corey's Catsup and Mustard

I liked this glass. It held my water.

On The Road....Manchester, CT aka Burger Apathy, Part 2
I was driving through CT on my way back home and it was a sucky rainy day. I thought to myself, "Self, this sucks. What better than a cheeseburger or two to make things better?" I debated, do I go with the classic, tried and true Louis Lunch? Or do I try something new to give y'all a new review? I honestly wasn't feeling too adventurous to do both so I just opted for something new. My search for "Best Burger Hartford" quickly yielded some names that I've recognized and I settled on Corey's Catsup and Mustard in Manchester, CT.

Their burger list is pretty extensive and my decision was not going to be easy. After much deliberation my stomach and eyes were in agreement that Auntie Annie's Laurie's was the burger for me.This particular burger features: Auntie Laurie's House-Made Blue Moon Mustard, horseradish cheddar, pretzel bun, bacon, lettuce, tomato. How good does that sound?? I was literally salivating while I waited for this creation to arrive.

The burger, (at left) with bacon, cheddar, and all that other good stuff was presented nicely. The bun, was so inviting with it's golden brown glow. Seriously, look at it. Stare at it. How good does that bun look? Now gaze at that mountain of accoutrements on top of the burger, I vote yum yums.

Looks can be deceiving, don't judge a book by its cover, etc. etc. All those cliches exist because they are true. Now how can the masterpiece at left go awry? Well, let's start with flavor. The burger was ordered rare and served medium-well (honestly anything beyond the reddish-pink is well done in my brain) and as we've learned, I have two bugaboos when ordering a burger. Let's recap.

1. I'm not going to tell you how I want it cooked. You're going to ask me.
2. If you ask me how I want it cooked, deliver. It's not hard. If this is your first burger ever then maybe you get a hall pass but I am not coming to eat your first burger ever. Am I?

Just above my thumb is a scant amount of mustard...see it?

So the waitress asks me how I want it cooked and I say, "rare" with all the thickness of my BK accent. I'm assuming it was not lost in translation. Seriously though, allow me a moment to praise my waitress. Was it Corey or Kori (I didn't get the proper spelling but she was nice, friendly, attentive, and very helpful. She earned a very generous tip even though (SPOILER ALERT!!!) I was VERY disappointed with this burger.

There was nothing redeemable about this burger. The burger itself was so overdone and there was almost no mustard to speak of. I needed something to moisten this beast and debated dunking it into my water. I refrained and kept chewing and chewing until I hit mustard! EUEREKA! It was like 1849 all over again though the mustard rush was very short lived. It was gone in a flash and I was back to my dry, overdone burger. That bacon...oh bacon. I love you so much and I hate seeing you treated so cruelly. I apologize that you had to be torched to a wooden texture and I apologize that I had to eat you like that. I promise to never do it again.

My review - 1/5 - Overcooked. Dry burger, beyond crispy and flavorless bacon, enough lettuce for a side salad, and barely enough mustard to cover the tip of my finger.

Their Site - http://www.catsupandmustard.com/


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Burger Bros

On The Road....Towson, MD aka Burger Apathy, Part 1**
Just up the road from Towson University you can find Burger Bros, a burger joint that has been making a lot of noise in the local foodmunity (that's food community, I just invented it). I was recently in MD for the holidays and would like to report on a number of stops I made while there. First on the menu is Burger Bros., located at 14 Allegheny Avenue Towson, MD 21204

Their burger is described as, "6 whoppin’ oz. of hand-packed Fresh Ground Angus Beef charbroiled to perfection and served on a bun." Now, if perfection means charred to death, then this is Burger Heaven and I'm Saint Paul. I was a bit alarmed when I saw the flames from the grill shooting up about four feet high for a good twenty seconds. At that point I knew my burger was torched beyond belief and just not edible for someone like me who prefers his burger closer to it's living state.

The burger, (at left) with bacon, cheese, and sauteed mushrooms looks good enough. The bun, however, serves as a warning sign. Now I love me a lightly toasted bun and was happy to see them toasting the bun...until it turned black on the edges. I was already leery enough from the aforementioned flame show.

The Bros also serve up grilled chicken sandwiches (the thought kinda scares me) along with wings (we sampled the honey bourbon) and fries. The wings were ok. They were overcooked, which should come at no surprise, and that was unfortunate because I really enjoyed the sauce. The fries, well, as you know by now I'm not a guy that typically orders fries but if there are fries there I will try them. I really liked the fries here, natural cut and they were not overcooked (YAY!)

In all, I'm really not sure what the hype is surrounding this place. I know the area quite well and I know there are a lot of good (read better) burger options in the area.

My review - 1/5 - Way overcooked, not cooked to order. Dried out burger and overcooked wings. An overall experience that was barely salvaged by the fries

Their Site - http://burgerbrosburgers.com/ (coming soon at the time this is written) but you can click through to their menu from here.


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**Remember friends, if there's a part 1 there's sure to be a part 2! 

Dunn-Gaherin's

Dubliner - Ham, Cheese, Egg Salad with home made slaw

On the road...Newton, MA
Nestled in the Boston suburb of Newton, MA is Dunn-Gaherin's, an Irish Pub that has one of the best burgers I've had all year. While I was trying to figure out how Dunn-Gaherin's, which is located not far from where I once lived, has eluded me for the past decade-plus, I got excited at the prospects of finding a new burger spot in a very familiar neighborhood.

I browsed the menu and found the perfect burger for me, the Dubliner. Going full throttle in showing off my Irish Pride, the Dubliner was calling me like a stalker at 3am. Smokehouse ham, cheddar cheese, and egg salad?!? I've never seen a pairing like this before and I cannot tell you just how good this burger is and it's all because of the house-made egg salad.

It's important to point out that the sirloin was fresh, not frozen and it was cooked to perfection. Rare and pink and delicious. The size of the bun is on point. It's the perfect amount of dough to hold this burger up but not be overwhelming. And the egg salad. Wow! Who knew? I'd also like to point out that the home made slaw was really, really good. I was somewhat forced into the slaw because everything I read told me that I had to try the eggplant fries and sho' 'nuff I was there on an afternoon where they were all out of eggplant fries. It worked out for the best, I think, because this slaw was on point and I'd order a bowl of that on any future visit.

Rare. Perfect!

I'd also point out that the staff was amazing and they deserve a thumbs up as well! To get great food and amazing service is unfortunately not as common as it should be. I'd also love to point out this little anecdote. When the manager saw my burger, she actually intercepted it to confirm that I wanted such a rare burger. I told her it was perfect for me and I was so happy that they got it right. You'd be amazed at how many of the "best" burger joints cannot seem to cook a rare burger, rare.

Rating - 5/5 - Just on the Dubliner alone it's a perfect score. Add the staff to the mix and it might be a 10!

Their site - http://www.dunngaherins.com/index.html and their facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dunn-Gaherins/55743493327?ref=search

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Bourbon Street

Bourbon Street's exterior looks as if the restaurant was plucked right out of the French Quarter and dropped right into midtown Manhattan. I really appreciated the rustic look of the building, complete with the gas lamps on the exterior. Last week I tweeted that we were hitting the road for Bourbon Street, located at 346 West 46^th Street in the heart of NYC. I reviewed the menu before my visit and had a plan as to what I was going to eat. For those that do not know, I am a big fan of the Big Easy so I was equal parts intrigued and skeptic. I was ready to grab a burger and a po' boy, needing both because I simply could not decide which I wanted so I figured why not have the best of both worlds?

Bourbon Street's Double Gator Burger

Shortly after my tweet, they tweeted back and suggested that I order the special "Double Gator Burger" and I was quickly convinced that this was the way to go! I cannot express how happy I was that they suggested I go this way. The gator was so juicy and had great flavor and spice. I'm not sure how often this is a special but I can tell you that if you are there and you see it on the special menu, get it and you will not be let down! Loyal readers will also know that I am not much into french fries but these fries are really, really good. They're thick, crunchy, and generously seasoned and provide a perfect compliment to this awesome burger. To steal a tag line from a popular 80's cartoon, this burger is "truly outrageous!"

Creole Red Beans And Rice

But Bourbon Street is not just about the burger. There's a wide variety of po' boys, appetizers, and drinks. I was fortunate enough to sample both the Creole Red Beans and Rice and the Chicken and Andouille Gumbo and both of these really hit the spot! Generous portions that exploded with flavor and I was impressed with the generous amounts of andouille and chunks of chicken in the gumbo.

Rating - 4.5/5 - this place is on point. Why not a 5? Well, I think the dessert menu was missing a couple of NoLA staples - No beignets? No bananas foster? Beyond that, this place is on point!

Their site - http://www.bourbonny.com/index.aspx - as referenced earlier, they are also very active on the different social networking sites so be sure to hit them up today to find out about what's coming out the kitchen! They're also very active on Twitter so be sure to follow them @BourbonNY

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And for more on that tagline, click here for the full intro video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSLhrIuAZak 


UPDATE! We received a tweet over the weekend stating that Beignets are back in town at Bourbon Street. Thanks to @BourbonNY for keeping us in the loop. We'll be there soon to try 'em!

G&A Restaurant

G&A Menu

On The Road....Baltimore, MD

With the holiday season wrapping up, no pun intended (or was it?), it's important to include the food exploits that have been a part of my 10 pound increase and adoption of a second chin (it's a seasonal accessory, I swear). Rolling down I-95 and hitting up Baltimore, MD for a hot dog joint that is about to celebrate it's 75th anniversary on Eastern Ave. Any small business that can last for 75 years gets a big thumbs up in my book. Any restaurant that can still serve up great food to large crowds on a daily basis is even more impressive. So here we are with the Charm City Edition of 5BFG.

I have family members that grew up within ten minutes of G&A and they all swear that nothing has changed for as long as they can remember and that is not just the food but also the interior. Walking into G&A is equivalent to walking into the old fashioned luncheonettes that I barely got to know as they mostly faded away from the Brooklyn landscape during my youth.

Let's get back to business, shall we? It's said that the dogs are just as good as they always were, the chili just as delicious. For me, I can only judge recent visits and I can tell you that this place is simply amazing. Now I know many of my NY readers will make the occasional run down to Baltimore and I implore you to find your way to G&A for some chili dogs and chili burgers.

Burger and two dogs with LOTS of chili!

The dogs are a good size. They're not huge but they're definitely worth the price, especially with the chili and onions. I know, I know. I keep harping on this chili but it is just so good you have to try it to understand. It's also important to add that the chili really serves to enhance the flavor of the dogs rather than overpowering them.

Rating - 4.5/5 - It's not just a slice of Americana and a healthy dose of nostalgia served up at G&A. It's great food at very reasonable prices. The chili is worth the price of admission and I'd suggest putting some in your pocket for your ride home! The owner is a really nice guy and I think he just might oblige.

Their site - http://www.gandarestaurant.com/
*With the above menu photo, you have the address, phone number, and hours of operation. Let it never be said that I don't take care of you.

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Beard Papa

Beard Papa Himself

Frequent readers have been inundated with a run on burgers and pizza, two of my favorites. However those that know me can attest that I have quite the sweet tooth (and not one cavity to speak of - and I'm knocking on my wooden tooth to not jinx things).

Lets rewind a bit, we'll call this (non acid induced) flashback: Giant White Man in Tokyo. In this episode, the giant white man is played by me and Tokyo is played by itself, after all whom can play a city? To say I had much of a clue as to where I was while in Tokyo is an understatement, however thanks to a good friend we were able to navigate our way around the city and take in the sights. One pleasant surprise was the bearded man himself! Fear not my friends, while I know my recent reviews have taken me on the road I'm only adding the presence of Beard Papa in Tokyo as an anecdote. HOWEVER! If you are a true die hard and find yourself in Tokyo, give Papa a taste of the best cream puffs your Yen can buy.

Where we were? Ah yes, puffs. On the east coast we have only two locations to choose from and since one is over in Fort Lee, NJ we'll leave that out of the mix and set our sights on 2167 Broadway, the home of Mr. Papa. When I say that this is the best cream puff ever, I mean it. It's the best cream puff ever. Don't believe me? What's it say on their site? Ahem, "World's Best Cream Puff." That's good enough for me. Oh sure lil' Miss Skeptic, don't believe me or them. Go there and give it a try for yourself and fear not, I'll save room on the bandwagon.

Three good reasons to try Beard Papa's today!

1. You think those frozen, pre-made cream puffs are good and you're upset that your freezer is now void of said puffs. Consider this your lucky day because Papa's Puffs are much, much better.
2. They say they are the best. I know the p.c. police do not like such bombastic statements but I do. I especially like these claims when the claimant can back it up the way the bearded one can.
3. How can you say no to that gnome?

But what makes them so good? I say the secret is nestled in Papa's magical beard. Or maybe it's the pipe? In truth, the pastry is fresh, light, flaky and delicious. The cream, not too sweet and just right. The end result, the best puff ever! And they are always filled to order and never just sitting around filled with cream to get all soggy for you.

Rating - 5/5 - I was going to go with a 10 here since it's like totally the world's best but I figured a perfect score was just as good. However, they are really better than perfect so maybe I should stick with a 10!

Their site - http://www.muginohointl.com/

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Candlelight Inn

I'll preface this by saying this is not going to be a review, not a formal review anyway. For quite some time I've heard great things about the Candlelight Inn in Scarsdale, specifically their wings. I was in the area last week taking my mom to the doctor and I suggested that we try the Candlight for a late lunch/early dinner. It's not every day I'm in Scarsdale so this just had to happen.

Upon arrival, I checked in on Foursquare and my friend Nick hits me up and simply asks, "Chernobyl?" I answer in the affirmative and he replies "You could have just come over to my place and I would have stabbed you in the tongue." I laughed for a while and debated leaving to go get stabbed in the tongue, after all you need a baseline to determine which of these things feels worse.

Chernobyl

I knew what I wanted but for some reason, the waitress didn't believe. Or maybe it was she didn't want to serve me? Or most likely, she just didn't want to see this grown man cry. I asked for an order of 10 wings, Chernobyl. She said, "Are you sure?" Yes I'm sure. She asked again, "Why don't you just get hot wings? I can bring you some Chernobyl sauce on the side." I replied, "No thanks, I want Chernobyl." She said, "You really sure? They're so hot. 98% of the people who order them can't eat them." Yes, I'm sure.

All this talk made my mouth water. I LOVE hot food and was ready to take on these wings that share their name with a Russian nuclear disaster. Deep down, I never did question whether or not I can finish the ten wings. My own stupidity would not allow me to stop short of finishing the heat these wings could deliver. I must say these wings are HOT! They are possibly the 2nd hottest wings* I've ever eaten and my physiological reaction spoke volumes - uncontrollable tearing, sweating, red swollen lips. However, as strange as it may seem, my mouth did not feel hot. It sounds crazy and it's hard to explain but these things are so hot but it was not unbearable.  More important than the heat is the size. For under $7 I got 10 wings and look at the size of them. Big, meaty, juicy and NOT fried.

If you enjoy hot wings I'd suggest the Candlelight Inn to you. If you want to push how high you can go on the Scoville Scale, go for Chernobyl and let me know what you think.

*Note - The hottest wings I've ever eaten were at a spot just outside of Boston. I challenged that place to make them as hot as possible and when I bit into the first wing it felt like I was kicked in the teeth and my mouth went numb.

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Zinburger

THE Zinburger

A short drive from Giants MetLife Stadium on Route 3 West, is Zinburger, which came highly recommended from a friend. On my first visit to the Zin (that's what the cool kids call it, ok, just this cool kid) I was informed that the big Z is the first in NJ with the others being in Arizona; so keep that in mind if you are reading this from AZ and need your Zinburger fix on your next trip to the NYC area or if you're plotting a trip to AZ and want to sleep easily knowing you can get your Zin fix.

The menu is pretty simple for this burger and wine bar, it mainly consists of burgers and well, wine. Go figure. However, it's worth noting that you should not sleep on a few of the sides and more importantly, the shakes.

Before we stray to sides and shakes and anything that's not a burger, let's talk about beef. It's either Certified Angus or Kobe (not Bryant) served here so you know the meat is quality. It's also fresh, not frozen so that is a big + in my book. The size of the burgers is also worth noting, these guys are rather large and on my first visit I was pleasantly surprised by the size of this thing and the bun pairing was almost perfect*
*I say almost because I first ordered a rare burger and the bun did not hold up to the juicy mess that I held in my hands. Next go 'round I went medium rare and it was on point.

As for the burgers, if you start with the Zinburger (Manchego Cheese, Zinfandel Braised Onions, Mayo) you really can't go wrong. The braised onions really stand out and add a delicious sweetness to this massive burger. Another great option here is the Samburger (Applewood Smoked Bacon, American Cheese, Thousand Island Dressing), the sweetness of the thousand island and the smoky bacon just bring this burger to the next level.

You can't have a burger without sides and I have to say that the Zucchini Fries are out of this world! I also really enjoy the Cole Slaw, Asian inspired with ginger and toasted sesame seeds.

Behold, the Crème Brûlée

If wine is not your thing, there's beer. If wine and beer don't quite do it for you, there are shakes. The Crème Brûlée Shake is one of the best frozen treats I've ever had (it rivals my personal favorite Toasted Marshmallow Shake from Stand!) The Crème Brûlée Shake is truly one of a kind and it is so good and SO BIG! I've also had the Bananas Foster Shake and must admit that I was very disappointed with this one. It looks pretty but the flavor did not invoke the taste of Bananas Foster - however it did inspire me to work on creating this masterpiece in my kitchen!

Rating - 4.75/5 - There are some solid options on the menu though it is not very deep. It's also a bit pricy when the sides creep into the picture. Is it worth the trip out to Clifton? That's for you to decide but I cannot stress how much I enjoyed both burgers and the Crème Brûlée Shake.

Their site - http://www.zinburgernj.com/

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5 Napkin Burger

5 Napkin Burger - UWS Exterior

5 Borough Food Guys, meet 5 Napkin Burger. 5 Napkin Burger, ummmmm, meet me. A long while ago, I teased a visit to 5 Napkin on my other blog, GothamBurgers (or Got Hamburgers if you're so inclined) and I finally made my way to the 5NB on the Upper West Side. Side note, is it me or is the UWS starting to look a lot like the UES? The conversations were eerily similar and the conversations were similarly nauseating but I'm not judging, just being judgmental. Maybe I just need a friend? Or a hug? Or a friend to give me a hug?

I digress and forge ahead. We're here for burgers, not people watching.

The place has a nice interior, I'm into the whole, meat hooks hanging from the ceiling look and it worked for me. The music did not and the tv that was nestled in the corner showing afternoon football served as a good distraction since I had one small glass of water to satiate my thirst during my entire stay.

Original 5 Napkin Burger - Cooked Rare

The burger selection was rather slim compared to some of my favorite burger haunts (Island Burger jumps to mind) The menu featured a handful of options but the Original 5 Napkin Burger was where I started, though I'm not sure why because I'm not too fond of Gruyere, though I do love me some caramelized onions. Related note, I was a little upset to hear that I could have subbed out the Gruyere after I finished my burger and overheard someone at the next table ordering. Sure I could have asked that question but the waiter just offered that info to the other patron.

The important stuff - the burger was asked to be cooked rare and it was PERFECT! The bun, however, didn't really hold up too well. The burger is a little too large and there bun is a little too thin for a burger of this size. The juices just ripped through the bread like juice tends to do.

I've heard lots o' hype about the "fantastic!!!" 5 Napkin but I must say, I felt a little short changed here, like maybe 3 napkins. It was good and my grade is really just based on the food...ok, and partially on the meat hooks. I'd love for someone to explain the presence of sushi on the menu? And perhaps the random entrees? Funny because I was thinking of burgers at a burger joint but the proprietors thought otherwise.

The prices are also a bit high, the Original comes in at a modest $14.95. Yes, yes. It's Manhattan. Yo comprendo. But for serious, if someplace else can charge like 8 bucks for a similarly sized burger...well, you know what I'm saying. I was tempted to order the "Burger for 2" but I didn't wanna be that pig that eats the "Burger for 2" by himself. Especially since I don't drink Diet Coke so I can't properly wash down my gluttonous sins with some diet cola.

Rating 3.75/5 - I was satisfied with what I had but I wanted more. More what? I'm still not sure. I know I wanted more water but I only saw the waiter to order my food and deliver the check. Why'd he get a 25% tip? Oh yeah, I'm a shmuck.

Their site - http://5napkinburger.com/

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Gates Bar-B-Q

Gates Exterior - He looks charming

On the Road...the Kansas City BBQ Disappointment, Volume 2
On the subject of burnt ends, I got to sample some of this KCMO staple at Gates BBQ. Gates is BBQ meets chain meets the Varsity (of Atlanta fame). My Gates experience was a trip into a time warp with a dining room that looked fresh out of 1968 (not that it's a bad thing, just saying) combined with a dash of the Varsity.

For those of you who have been to the ATL and visited the Varsity, you've been greeted by the staff that continually beckons, "whattya have, whattya have?" No time to waste, no time to wait. You gotta order or get out the way for someone else to order, especially during the lunch or dinner rush. At Gates, the experience is somewhat similar, however less endearing. The staff member started with a, "hi, may I help you?" To which we replied, "one minute please." To which they replied, "hi, may I help you?" Then another one chimed in, "hi, may I help you?" I looked around and realized there was nobody else there and then they said it again, "hi, may I help you?" I started laughing and had a hard time keeping a straight face. When I was ready to order, I approached the counter and the girl in front of me asked, "hi, may I help you?" I think I got at least one more before my order was complete and I just was mystified. I'm convinced they're from Skynet.

Gates Pork Sandwich

On to the food, well, I have only photo proof of the pork sandwich which is rather small and packs a hefty $6 price tag. Sure it's fresh, or whatever, but it aint so cheap and it really aint so good either. I mean, I have a mental food calculator that tells me if I am getting both good food and a good value and this didn't meet either criteria. I must say that their hot bbq sauce is also really good (notice that I said the same about the lackluster A. Bryant experience. Why? Because I needed to find something nice to say).

Now for those Burnt Ends. Burnt, to me, implies a degree of crunch or at least some hardness that you should experience when biting into said end. That's just me, I guess. The burnt ends here were a heaping pile of mush that had a char to it but it was such a mush ball that you had little crunch as you munched.

I spent nearly 2 full days in KC and haven't been able to hit you up with much in terms of solid reviews, fear not KCMO fans, I've got one comin'.

Rating - 1.5/5 - there's some charm here. They offer something called the "Struttin Bucket" and that guy has a top hat on. I enjoy that. I also enjoy the signs at the entrance (see my tumblr). The food left a lot to be desired and got a decent bump by the top hat.

Their site - http://www.gatesbbq.com/Default.aspx

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Arthur Bryant's

Hello, I'm Arthur Bryant. Yes, THE Arthur Bryant

On The Road...The Kansas City BBQ Disappointment, Volume 1
I have this theory about BBQ food and it's fairly straight forward, BBQ is meant to be good and affordable, focus on the affordable. Affordable is just my fancy marketing term for cheap. By cheap, I mean regionally since cheap by NY standards is different from cheap by, say Missouri standards.

Why? Well, I've spent enough time in Texas, Oklahoma, and Georgia to know that the best BBQ that's ever been devoured by yours truly has been equal parts delicious and cheap. It's comfort food, comforting to the soul as much as the wallet.

All that said, my first KCMO experience with their take on BBQ was quite the letdown. The "must have" Arthur Bryant's, noted as one of the best in KC for decades, was truly a let down. I compare to when you were in high school and there was this guy/girl that you just HAD to go out with and when the opportunity finally came to really get to know this person, they were really just a waste of your present time and all the nights you spent dreaming about this day. Mr Bryant, I'm not blaming you but I'm kinda standing here pointing a finger at the employees that are soiling your good name and mooching off your reputation. Unless of course, if this is what you meant BBQ to be.

What went wrong? Well, for starters, the service here is a shade worse than awful - and this is coming from a New Yorker. Maybe the employees at this establishment on Brooklyn Ave were trying to embody the attitude of my hometown. If so, it worked but you still suck. Fear not though, you don't suck nearly as much as your "pulled pork." I use the term loosely because this pork could have easily been sipped up via a straw. It was a large pile of mush with little texture. On a happy note, I enjoyed the house hot sauce. The other meat you see on the tray at right is meant to be sausage. I compare it to room temperature bologna. Mmmmm, mmmm not good. A stack of white bread for the heck of it and you have $12 down the drain.

Which brings us full circle to my theory on BBQ. That is NOT $12 worth of food. Well, maybe in NY. Maybe they think they're in NY because they're on Brooklyn Ave, albeit in KCMO but this was the exact reason many of the locals said to avoid Jack's Stack BBQ, "it's too pricey" and go to Arthur Bryant's, "it's cheap and the best."

Rating - 1.5/5 - This was not my first taste of KC BBQ but it was the must have BBQ spot according to many. Good thing I don't hold grudges.

Their site - http://www.arthurbryantsbbq.com/index.htm

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Modern Pastry

Modern Pastry - Exterior

One large, one small. Both AMAZING.

On The Road...Boston, MA
I'm going to come right out and say it in three words. BEST. CANNOLI. EVER. To think, my research said this was a close 2nd in Boston but I've tried what that person called the best and it didn't even come close to the cannoli greatness served at Modern Pastry, a Boston staple since the 1930's.

Rating - 5/5 - PERFECTION. I've never had a cannoli this good, anywhere. Ever. My favorites in NYC and BK take a backseat to this gem.

Their site - http://www.modernpastry.com/

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Blue Door Pub

BDP - All Gone

On The Road...St. Paul, MN

Lots O' Tots for $2

It's my second week back from my brief stint in the Twin Cities but let me tell you, they left a lasting impression. The people were awesome and the food was even better. Yes, I know. I don't do gourmet dining and go for the basic dogs, burgers, brats, pizza, etc. but that stuff is so good that I can't pass it up. Preliminary research led me to a number of places and I just had to figure out how to get to St. Paul to make a visit to the Blue Door Pub. A lot of independent sources all gave the BDP rave reviews and I needed to see it for myself.

El Guapo - The Good Looking One

We stroll up to the BDP, decked out in NY Yankee gear (this was our post game meal) and were told to eat outside. At least they'd be willing to serve us unlike some of the savagery that goes on in Boston. All kidding aside, we were ultimately allowed to eat inside to take advantage of happy hour beer specials ($2!!!!) and baskets of tots for only $2!! I mean, if you wanna give away your food, I'm all for it. We found out a little too late about the spicy tots but that was something special! Tots with a dusting of cayenne pepper really hit the spot. The people here were really cool, very friendly. It was not that small but there was a great crowd and it was just a really good time.

Medium Rare w/cheesy center

By now, you've become familiar with the Jucy Lucy and the BDP has their take, conveniently called the "Juicy Blucy" and there are a wide variety of Blucys to choose from. I chose the special B.O.M., "El Guapo" that featured home made pico de gallo and Monterrey Jack cheese. I also selected this specific Blucy in honor of my friend Ed who was not on this trip.

I am making this vow, if their "challenge" exists the next time I am in the Twin Cities, I will do it in 2 days (split 5 and 5). I sure do hope I am there for more than 2 days even though I'll be conveniently close to the Mayo Clinic. What's the challenge? Well, as defined on their site: THE CHALLENGE: Try one of each kind of Blucy (there are 10 of them on the regular menu). THE RULES: Always carry your punch card with you. And stay true to the items listed. The order in which you complete the Blucys is irrelevant. Remind your server to punch your card! THE TROPHY: The winner t-shirt. A custom made limited time winner t-shirt. THE GLORY: We will treat you to your 11th burger and then we hope you start the madness all over again!

Rating - 5/5 - This is so incredibly delicious I can't even describe it. Everything is fresh and amazing. The pico de gallo had some good heat and was perfect. The bun, outstanding. The burger, huge! Everything about the BDP is just head and shoulders above many of the burgers I've ever had.

Their site - http://thebdp.com/?page_id=16 (I go straight for the jugular to point out the delicious Blucys

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Louie and Ernie's

Louie & Ernie's Exterior

I recently set out on a mission, a Bronx mission. For me, the Bronx is ripe with tradition - baseball and hip-hop come to mind. And the list of legends from both areas that were "born in the Bronx" are the who's who in baseball and hip-hop lore, respectively. The Bronx is also often unnoticed in the NY food scene, specifically pizza, but there are neighborhoods that were flooded with Italian immigrants and the food and culture still thrives.

I went to the Bronx, searching for some GOOD pizza and my research yielded a few spots, traffic only allowed me to hit up one. That one, had the fate of the Bronx on its shoulders. Could it deliver?

I have heard the name so often. Louie and Ernie. Louie and Ernie. This is your neighborhood pizzeria just maybe not in your neighborhood. Word on the street is that the calzone at Louie and Ernie's is a must have, especially if you get the calzone with prosciuttini. A slice and a calzone, why not? I'm a growing boy.

I started with the slice and I thought it was average. I've been to a multitude of neighborhood pizza joints in a number of neighborhoods across NYC, and rarely are those neighborhood joints so stand out that they are elevated to the top of the pizza chart. Louie and Ernie is really no exception. The pizza was average, just average.

Turning my sights to the calzone it was interesting. And not a good interesting. The dough on the exterior was deep fried having a similar taste and texture to a zeppole. The filling would have been relatively flavorless if not loaded up with black pepper. The prosciuttini had no flavor and this thing was just a major, major disappointment for me.

Rating - 2.25/5 - the pizza was average. Nothing really was outstanding. The sauce was bland. The cheese, bland. The dough/crust was good but lacking that crunch I crave. If I did a rating for L&E with the calzone included, it would have been brought down to a 1.5

Their site - doesn't exist but they're located at 1300 Crosby Ave.

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Pizzeria Regina

Pizzeria Regina - 11 1/2 Thacher

On The Road...Boston, MA
Look up "best pizza Boston" and you'll find Regina at or near the top of every list in beantown. I took my brother along for this trip, more like he took me along as he drove me to the North End to indulge my pizza cravings. I had a long list of places at which we should eat and Regina was definitely on the list. Before I get too deep into my review, I really could care less if the staff has a bit of an attitude and that's their little gimmick. I get it, that's fine. I've been to enough places like that and can handle it. Besides, I could care less how nasty the staff is if the food is good.

Pizzeria Regina - Pepperoni Slice

The food, the pizza. Pizzeria Regina's staple item for North Enders since 1926. Regina serves a big slice. A greasy slice. A relatively bland slice that lacks flavor, crunch, and that special something that makes me want to go back for more.

My brother had a very similar reaction. He was not impressed with the pizza and was kinda let down. We've shared a number of great slices together at my home in NY and his home in MA. Focusing on just the MA pizzerias we've hit up, Regina did not live up to top billing, not even top five and I've cleared a good chunk of the most recent top 20 from boston.com

But if we want to go into their attitude, if you've been there you'll know that at the end of the bar there's a tiny triangle of counter space that is barely bigger than the pepperoni slice pictured above. I was standing right there, out of the way and they were insistent that I "move by the red bucket" since our food was ordered to go. Over and over and over they demanded I move. I was confused to say the least and I moved to the red bucket, at which point they finally handed us our food, guaranteeing that we would not eat inside the pizzeria. 

Rating - 2.75/5 - the pizza was average. I did enjoy the taste of the slight char from the brick oven. However, it was really greasy, not just the pepperoni )which is inevitably greasy) but the plain slice was greasier than Elvis' hair.

Their site - http://www.pizzeriaregina.com/

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The Wienery

Breakfast ALL DAY. Get it?

Drive-In Dog w/Slaw

On The Road...MPLS
Nestled in the heart of the West Bank section of Minneapolis is the Wienery, a small eatery that packs a lot of flavor and flair. The setup is about 4-5 tables and chairs plus another 10-12 seats at a bar. Breakfast is served ALL day. I emphasize that because there were enough signs mentioning it and people still asked. Reading is not fundamental, it's overrated.

The food, yes, the food. The dogs were Vienna Beef and that's an automatic 4-stars because them doggies run the Midwest. I went dogs only on this trip because I was anticipating more eating (turned out to be Matt's and that delicious Jucy Lucy) and the doggies did not disappoint.

Decision time and it was not easy. Their menu runs deep, much like my appetite but not like my wallet so I had to make some tough choices. I opted for the Tasmanian Devil because I wanted the hottest of the hot chili on top of my doggy and then I went for more chili and some slaw on the Drive-In Dog, a nod to my days in Charleston.

Both hit the spot perfectly and someone please tell me why it's so hard to find a poppy seeded hot dog roll here in NYC? I mean, this is NYC! Let's get on the ball. It's for the children, just ask this guy.


Rating - 5/5. I had perfection at the Wienery. Them doggies were so good and the chili was amazing, nice and spicy and that slaw. WOW! I loved the slaw. I loved it so much I would have let them make a beard of slaw on my face to pick it while riding the light rail back to the airport. That would have been fun to explain to the TSA folks.

Their site - www.wienery.com

**If you want to make some slaw at home the way the Wienery does out in MPLS, have a look here for the recipe!

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