5 Napkin Burger

5 Napkin Burger - UWS Exterior

5 Borough Food Guys, meet 5 Napkin Burger. 5 Napkin Burger, ummmmm, meet me. A long while ago, I teased a visit to 5 Napkin on my other blog, GothamBurgers (or Got Hamburgers if you're so inclined) and I finally made my way to the 5NB on the Upper West Side. Side note, is it me or is the UWS starting to look a lot like the UES? The conversations were eerily similar and the conversations were similarly nauseating but I'm not judging, just being judgmental. Maybe I just need a friend? Or a hug? Or a friend to give me a hug?

I digress and forge ahead. We're here for burgers, not people watching.

The place has a nice interior, I'm into the whole, meat hooks hanging from the ceiling look and it worked for me. The music did not and the tv that was nestled in the corner showing afternoon football served as a good distraction since I had one small glass of water to satiate my thirst during my entire stay.

Original 5 Napkin Burger - Cooked Rare

The burger selection was rather slim compared to some of my favorite burger haunts (Island Burger jumps to mind) The menu featured a handful of options but the Original 5 Napkin Burger was where I started, though I'm not sure why because I'm not too fond of Gruyere, though I do love me some caramelized onions. Related note, I was a little upset to hear that I could have subbed out the Gruyere after I finished my burger and overheard someone at the next table ordering. Sure I could have asked that question but the waiter just offered that info to the other patron.

The important stuff - the burger was asked to be cooked rare and it was PERFECT! The bun, however, didn't really hold up too well. The burger is a little too large and there bun is a little too thin for a burger of this size. The juices just ripped through the bread like juice tends to do.

I've heard lots o' hype about the "fantastic!!!" 5 Napkin but I must say, I felt a little short changed here, like maybe 3 napkins. It was good and my grade is really just based on the food...ok, and partially on the meat hooks. I'd love for someone to explain the presence of sushi on the menu? And perhaps the random entrees? Funny because I was thinking of burgers at a burger joint but the proprietors thought otherwise.

The prices are also a bit high, the Original comes in at a modest $14.95. Yes, yes. It's Manhattan. Yo comprendo. But for serious, if someplace else can charge like 8 bucks for a similarly sized burger...well, you know what I'm saying. I was tempted to order the "Burger for 2" but I didn't wanna be that pig that eats the "Burger for 2" by himself. Especially since I don't drink Diet Coke so I can't properly wash down my gluttonous sins with some diet cola.

Rating 3.75/5 - I was satisfied with what I had but I wanted more. More what? I'm still not sure. I know I wanted more water but I only saw the waiter to order my food and deliver the check. Why'd he get a 25% tip? Oh yeah, I'm a shmuck.

Their site - http://5napkinburger.com/

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Mel's Burger Bar

Mel's Burger Bar - Al Fresco

Oh the Upper West Side. Where do you really begin and end? I mean, by real standards and not real estate standards. I don't gauge the boundaries of this neighborhood by the insane costs of rent to live on top of people but more so on the rotten summer stank on the 1 train as you cruise up Broadway. I have a certain disdain for the waft of hot, dank air that blows into the air conditioned train cart at each passing stop and when you hit 96th, you know you're either ready to a) get off the train and just hoof it b) spray some type of deodorant to neutralize the funk in the air or c) put on a gas mask and enjoy the rest of the ride.

I had the recent pleasure of riding the 1 up to 110th to hit up Mel's, who offers a wide variety of burgers and shakes (Cookie Monster - ahem, Big Daddy's clone, PBJ, Smores, etc.), along with a handful of interesting starters (fried pickles, buffalo wings, brisket chili). The burger of choice for me was "The Original" because I kinda liked the nod on the menu that read "Thank You Louis." A nod to Louis Lunch over in New Haven that I thought warranted giving the burger a shot. For the record, I did not think it was going to replicate what LL has been doing for 115 years in any way other than slapping the burger sandwich on toast. A true LL fan like myself can also tell you that the obvious omission of the cheese spread left the sandwich lacking a little flavor (not just because they forgot my onion). Overall the burger was good. The girl was seemingly intent on giving me a medium burger, and I quote "is medium ok." To which I replied, nope. Gimme mine mooing and I'll take care of the rest.

Mel's Burger Bar - The Original

Overall the burger was good. The meat was really just meat. Black Angus? Who knows for sure. Could have been Angus MacGyver for all I know. It's a nice label but irrelevant in the scheme of things, especially if the meat lacks an overall flavor palate to make it stand out. My biggest complaint, if you can call it that, was the fact that the bread was a little too big for the burger. Not brutally big, but a little oversized. Did I enjoy this burger? Yes, I did. Was it a bit off? Yes it was.

Mel's Burger Bar Slogan - OK?

So what do we do? On the one hand, there's an extensive burger menu with some interesting and unique offering and on the other there's a lack of meat flavoring that makes the burger stand out assuming you were to eat it on a plate (but who really does that?) If you like well done fries, Mel's has exactly what you are looking for - twice fried, done nice and hard.

Rating - 3.5/5 - If ranking just my burger experience it would have been a little lower but I am giving a half point bump for the shakes (though I didn't try one they did intrigue me so I'll venture back, ideally in the Fall) and sides.

Their site - http://www.melsburgerbar.com/

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Island Burgers and Shakes

Looks are deceiving. Deceptively deceiving sometimes. From the outside, Island Burgers has a small and rather modest appearance which does not foreshadow what you are about to encounter on the inside. Island Burgers and Shakes are yet another burger/shake spot in NYC. Unavoidable, I know but I comprehend it better than the burger/shake/cupcake craze that's trending on the NYC streets. Put a burger on a cupcake and you have me as your brand new BFF but you decide to bake those too b/c you know that the $4 cupcake is a trendy little snack on the NYC streets, shame on you cupcake cooker. Or baker. Whatever.

Back to IBS, their menu is simply amazing. There are so many options, each coming with different toppings, seasoning, etc. Did I mention that you can have any of the burgers as either a hamburger or a grilled chicken sandwich? Not a bad deal if you are craving a delicious, juicy, big burger and have a friend that's more into chicken. The complete menu can be found here and locals can use it to place orders for delivery.

Bourbon Street

At left, you can see the inside of a perfectly cooked RARE burger. At right, you can see the Bourbon Street burger, featuring a blackened burger patty, jack cheese, sauteed onions, and bacon.

I had two issues with the burger and that's going to hurt my overall review. Issue 1 - the bacon was cold. Not room temperature, not sorta warm, but cold. It was obviously cooked earlier and then just sat around and was not even heated prior to climbing on top of my burger. That was a bit of a bummer b/c I ended up eating the bacon separately and wanted it on this burger. Issue 2 - the sourdough was a nice, different touch. There are a number of bread/bun options there and again, that's a HUGE plus. I didn't ask if I could select a different bread but I am sure I could have. After eating it, I can say that I wasn't a fan of this pairing as the bread was a little too large and the crust was just kinda out there and out of place. Not bad, just out of place.

Rating - 4.75/5 - The variety of food here should be enough to keep me coming back for more and I'd surely recommend it to you too! The burgers are big, cooked to perfection, and have lots of flavor. Have you been here? What's your favorite?

Their site - http://islandburgers.ordersvc.com/

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Shake Shack

There's a magic recipe brewing in NYC and I'm not sure where it started but the theme is simple. Serve burgers and shakes and the people will flock. Somewhere along the line people figured that fattening foods go really well together and they help the fat get fatter and the skinny get fatter and it's a fat-tastic win-win situation. 

Buried in Madison Square Park, amidst equal parts tourist and hobo, is the Shake Shack. Yes, there are others and they're ALL crowded - except the one at Citi Field from July on since there's no reason to be there past July. It's like wearing white pants after Labor Day, you just don't do it. I hear there's also a Shack in Dubai but that's way too far to travel for a burger, regardless of the lines in the Park. Also buried inside that piece of paper is a burger that's being smothered by lettuce and tomatoes. Be a friend and help me out says the burger, I'm happy to oblige.

All of the hype for the Shack is semi-deserved. The burgers are good, not great. Same for the shakes. The menu is simple yet there are still people who can't discern whether they want a burger, fries, and shake or just the burger and shake so your wait grows accordingly.

My advice to the Shack - have a window for people that have a clue and then send the clueless out back on a special path to Wendy's where they can take all the time in the world, sit, gather themselves, and clog up someone else's line.

Part of the negative experience with Shake Shack is that the lines are atrocious, generally speaking, at all times of day. I don't take away points from the Shack because of it, I just bring it up for anyone that hasn't been there and is expecting to show up and get served. It's like Pink's in LA, but not as good and not nearly as worth the wait.

The simple menu will tell you that you're either getting a burger, with or without cheese. There's a shroom burger for the veggies out there and a few hot dog offerings, which if you're like me and need a Chicago style dog, their Shackago Dog is worth a look. It's not quite what you'd get in the Windy City at say, SuperDawg, but it's worth a look. They even got the poppy seed bun right.The fries are really not worth discussing since they're somewhat overpriced and slightly undersized. The words Shack Sauce kinda scare me but that's for my therapist and I to work out.

If you are craving something sweet, I'd go for a shake rather than a concrete. The latter is their take on a Blizzard and if you are stuck in NYC and don't have easy access to Dairy Queen, that's too bad because this is a cheap imitation.

There are numerous accolades for this place and each time I've had it I just don't get it. Yes the Shack is good. No, it is not great. There's not much, in terms of a burger (with or without the Shack Sauce) that can merit the hype. It's a smaller burger and you'll need two or three to get full. 

But at least they sell some sort of ice cream treat for those with dogs.

Rating - 3.2/5 - There's definitely better burgers in NYC for a similar price. I'm not going to compare their burger to a Luger Burger or JG Melon or Minetta Tavern because the comparison is outrageous but if you want something small and fast and cheap, I think you can do better. I wanted to inflate the score a bit as a nod to the dog but I refuse since we're on a burger hunt.

Their site - http://www.shakeshack.com/

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Burger Joint

What an appropriately named spot to find tasty burgers. By now, most know the story of this place that's "hidden" in the lobby of Le Parker Meridien. If you don't know, just go to the fancy hotel and look for the line of slobs and step in line. Granted you will find the occasional person that is sipping a martini inside the Joint but all are welcome in a quest for good food.

There are three basic elements at the Burger Joint - burgers, fries, and shakes. After the long wait in line, I was disappointed when I saw a burger no-no. Frozen patties being placed on the grill. If I were not with people I'd have just walked out and chalked it up as a loss. I was a good soldier and waited in line for this "must have" burger. The burger, cooked rare as I requested, had decent enough flavor but it was definitely a disappointment considering the accolades the place has received. I enjoyed the way it was served, wrapped in wax paper like you just walked out a butcher shop. The paper did a good job of soaking up the juicy goodness that dripped out - as you can see to the right.

Did I enjoy the burger? Of course! But when you walk in hearing things like "must have" and "best burger ever" then you should expect to be wowed. But they did not deliver. For all the rave reviews, the place ends up on par with another spot that has let me down, Shake Shack. I know, I know, I'm blasphemous but let's be real. The burgers at both establishments are ok but they're nothing spectacular and they're both bolstered by the delicious ice cream shakes that the restaurants sling out but we're not looking for the best shake in NYC, we're looking for the best burger and it's not found at the Burger Joint.

Overall - 3.25/5 It's good, but not great. It's hidden, but not a secret. Meat's frozen and that's hard to forgive.

Their site - http://www.parkermeridien.com/eat4.php

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