Luigi's - UWS

Hello? Is anyone out...Oh hi! Hello there! Thanks for coming by. Before we get started I have something I really need to tell you. I, yes I, am a video game nerd. I'll even go a bit further and tell you that when I see Mario's face on a game, I'm all over it. It's been that way since forever and I'm not gonna change. He's always off on some crazy adventure to save the Princess with his brother and some mushroom men in tow. Luigi? Sidekick, straight up. But he was thrust into the spotlight once to save the Princess. JK, he had to save Mario. I'd be first in line to save my brother if he went missing but a little help is appreciated. After all, Mario always gets the girl and is constantly trying to save her and all Luigi gets to do is go to a ghost infested mansion and save Mario. Speaking of Mario, I've always found it a bit odd that his last name is Mario. Mario Mario just sounds a bit over the top but may be appropriate considering his star status, pun not intended. Luigi Mario seems like a somewhat normal name, maybe his papers got screwed up at Ellis Island, things happen.

You may recall that I recently reviewed a new Pizzeria/Restaurant in Hell's Kitchen called Uncle Mario's. That place is really going to be a contender for that neighborhood's pizza attention and rightfully so. Slightly further uptown and a bit more west is Mario's brother, not really but work with me here, Luigi's. Located on 61st and West End, Luigi's is one of the rare NYC Pizzeria's that has no competition for a long stretch of streets (assuming you stay on West End so don't get cute and walk to 10th or 9th and tell me there's something close because I won't listen.)

Luigi's is really large which leads me to believe they must serve a lot of people or else the space is just wasted. The interior is rather dark and I was thinking that a cock-fight or a numbers ring would be perfectly served in here. Maybe it is and I just don't know it? Maybe I just have a vivid imagination? Maybe, just maybe. Life's like a bowl of maybes covered in a box of chocolates. Chocolate covered maybes.

Speaking of wasted, that's what happened with my time and money. I got a slice, it was really BIG and the $2.50 paid was reasonable considering the size and that is the going rate at most NYC places. I was just hoping to eat something that didn't just look like pizza but maybe tasted like it too. Or at least tasted like pizza that wasn't IDENTICAL to what I ate in public school cafeterias growing up in Brooklyn. The taste was so eerily similar I was immediately transported back without the help of warp zones and large green pipes. Everything about this slice screamed don't eat more than one bite. So I barely did. I got half way through it, decided it was basically as gross as the sausage slice from Sal and Carmine's and had to part ways with it. The sauce was definitely out of a jar. DEFINITELY! I know jar sauce. I loathe jar sauce. I felt betrayed. Mario always saves the Princess, Luigi got to save Mario once, but nothing can save you if you stumble in here looking for a piece of real pizza.

Rating - 0.5/5 - If you are STARVING and have $2.50 and will die without any sustenance, this large slice will feed you and hold you over for a while. It's not inedible, it just tastes like it was not too fresh. The guy behind the counter seemed nice though.

Editor's note - If solely grading the sausage slice at Sal & Carmine's, that would have received the same rating. Also, this placed is now DEAD as of July 2011, a mere 2 months after the initial posting of this review on gothamPIZZA


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